The Four Leaf Clover

I’m not Irish!  So why do I incorporate the four leaf clover into every aspect of my life?

Honestly, I don’t even know my ancestry, but my love, obsession, & attachment to the four-leaf clover has nothing to do with where I came from.  It descends from a pivotal and life changing event in my life. 

Because it’s how I roll – I’m going all the way back!  Growing up my Dad was my everything.  He was my rock and often I felt like I was his.  We had an incredible relationship.  I could talk to him about almost anything and I think he talked to me like a friend daily.   So many awesome memories that I hope to talk about in other posts, but for this one, I want to talk about the infamous four-leaf clover that is my life symbol.

With that being said, I lost my Dad when I was 20.  I grew up somewhat privileged.  My Dad gave me anything and everything I wanted.  I was Daddy’s Girl.  The loss of my Dad changed my life in ways I never knew were possible.  I like to think I’m a humble person who doesn’t act entitled to anything, but that wasn’t always the case.  After the passing of Dad, this slowly started to settle in, and I realized LIFE IS TOO SHORT – which is something I still live by. 

He always looked at me with such endearment.

Dad passed away on October 9/10, 1998.  I have both dates because his death certificate says the 9th, but for us (me and my family) – the 10th was the day we lost the man we thought would be with us until the end of time.  I’m sure you are curious how he passed away and rather than being dramatic and sad I will just say it – he committed suicide.  Yes, my Dad, my rock, my best friend killed himself.  Something I had never imagined would be a part of my life.  Long story short and after lots of reflection, he had been depressed since approximately May of that year.  That is when he was passed over for a very important and self-affirming promotion at work.  As my Mom has said – the second he heard the news – it was like his entire person – inside and out – changed.  Over the next several months it would have been completely apparent to anyone familiar with Depression that he was in fact DEPRESSED.  But since my Mom, me, and my sister had never been confronted with this ILLNESS, we were a bit naïve and didn’t see the signs.  In fact, my Mom had just given him two weeks to ‘get better’ before she would demand he seek help.  You see – at the time, Prozac was the go-to med for depression and other mental illnesses, and with my Dad being an avid athlete that ran 7 miles daily he did not want to be put on that medication which would affect his desire to run and/or play racquetball daily to stay fit.  He was VERY conscious of his weight and feared the ability of not being able to control it.  Therefore, he was able to avert my Mom to give her attention to her Mom who was fighting a very fierce battle with cancer. 

Which is where she was the night he decided that taking his life was the answer to everything.  It was a Friday night – I was with him, but also with my boyfriend of 6 years who I am now married to with two kids – that he felt his life was not worth living anymore.  Mom was in a nearby town at a hospital with her Mom that was fighting cancer and I was at home being a typical 20-year-old thinking her BF was life when Dad decided to end his life.  We had met up at a weekly ‘car show’ where he and the car club he was part of got together regularly.  It was time to go and we were headed to dinner.  Dad attempted to pull up next to us in the parking lot and low and behold (he was a terrible driver) he hit a pilon with is antique street rod.  At that instance I saw the look on his face and knew something was gone.  He looked at me, said I’m going home and took off.  I looked at my BF and said – follow him!  We did.  We followed him all the way home.  It was the scariest, most intense 15 minutes in which he drove erratically and out of control, but he made it!  When we arrived to the house I told Jeremy (BF) to stay in the truck and I’d be right back.  I went into the house and talked to Dad.  He assured me he was good and just wanted to go to bed.  I naively believed him, said ‘I love you’ and left. 

Dad’s car

Jeremy and I went on our way – went to dinner at one of our favorite places, and then went back to his home where I stayed the night.  At the time I was a fitness fanatic, so I had gotten up early to go home, change my clothes, and make it to a spin class.  When I arrived home, I felt that something was not quite right and called for Kessler (our dog).  He appeared and I continued to walk through the house to seek out why I felt like something was amiss.  Nothing seemed out of place until I opened the door to the garage.  That is when I saw it.  Dad, sitting there unresponsive and waiting to be found.  I panicked and didn’t know what to do but went right to the phone and called my aunt who lived very close.  She told me to call the police and immediately headed my way.  I called the police and told them that my Dad was dead.  I honestly don’t remember the next few minutes until my aunt and the police arrived but do know that she took care of me at a time that I was in complete shock. 

Turns out – shortly after I left Dad that night – he had decided to end his life by turning on his street rod and every day vehicle while he hung out in the garage knowing this would be the end for him but a whole new, unbearable beginning for us. 

Somehow – some of it is still foggy after 20 years – we got through the next 7 months without Dad.  There were many things in between, but for this story – the day was Mother’s Day 1999 when Mom, me, and my sister went to Dad’s grave site to visit.  As we sat there I noticed a large patch of clovers that covered his entire grave site.  That is when I said, ‘do four-leaf clovers really exist because I’ve never seen one’.  Mom responded ‘absolutely!  When I was a kid we used to sit and search for them for hours and when someone would find one, we were all jealous’.  Not seconds after that I looked down on the ground where I was sitting and larger than life was a FOUR-LEAF clover!  Here it is.  20 years later it is in this frame still green and holding its own!  Strangely enough – the next several visits to Dad’s gravesite lead us to find several more four-leaf clovers in which Mom also has one in a frame.

My very first four-leaf clover found on Dad’s grave.

So there ya go!  That is why the four-leaf clover has a very meaningful and special place in my heart and my life.  When I see it I see Dad and all that he stood for.  It is rather fitting if you ask me – faith, hope, love and luck – is what it stands for and those are four things I have come to realize is all you need in life!  Thanks Dad!

This was Gary, my Dad and this frame says it all!
My forever four leaf clover.

Who is Mo’?

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to join me here.  I haven’t been much of a writer since elementary school, so bear with me while I ease back into it.

I suppose the best first post for me is to tell you who I am.  My full name is Morgan Ague.  Growing up a lot of my friends just called me Mo’ and over the last few years I have slowly started to use it in my personal branding and on-line presence.

I am a 40 year old mother, wife, daughter, small business owner, and server/bartender on the side.  I like to think I am pretty down to earth and easy going.  I try not to take life too seriously (which can be bad at my age) and love to have fun.  Now fun for me is to have a drink and hang out with friends and family.  I’ve had the privilege of travelling a lot in the last 7 years where I get to do things and be with people I love.  I love margaritas and most alcohol.  I drink because I like it, not because I need it.  I like enjoying a drink at the end of the night while I work or relax on the computer and watch one of my favorite pouring

I will tell more about my life and how I got where I am now in future posts, so for now I will try to keep it who I am NOW.

I have a small business.  I am a Independent Consultant with a company called Perfectly Posh.  Yes, it is one of those companies – but it is so much more than you think!  I worked in the corporate world for quite a few years when I started dabbling in the Direct Sales world and fell in love.  The company I’m with now isn’t the only DS business that I’ve had, but it is the one I am going to  stick with.  Because my family still depends on a certain income from me, I also work part-time as a server/bartender to make ends meet.  Hopefully one day soon my Posh business will be enough and I will be able to focus on it 100%.

Because I tend to get off topic I am going to explain me by telling you about my categories.

Family Clover represents my family and a four leaf clover.  My husband and I have been together since I was 14 and he was 17!  We have a very unique relationship that works for us – obviously since we’re still together.  We have two wonderful kids – Ava just turned 16 (O’ BOY!) and Gage is 13.  Being a parent is the most rewarding, frustrating, hardest thing I’ve ever done.  I seriously think if kids were born as teenagers people would definitely not have more than 1!  We also have 4 fur babies – our lives would not be complete without them.  I am also very close to my Mom and step-dad whom are always there for us.  The four leaf clover is something very near and dear to me and I use it in all aspects of my life as a symbol to remember someone very important to me – and no, I’m not Irish.  My second post goes into more detail why a four leaf clover.the fam!

Comfy Couch.  Now this one is more my personality.  I am super chill and laid back.  Sometimes I feel like I’m too laid back, but am a true believer that life is too short to get worked up about things we cannot control.  I love all things soft, comfy, and cozy.  My favorite place in my house is the big oversized chaise part of our leather sectional sofa.  This is also where I have my work station set up which is probably both good and bad.  This is also our families central location so I get to be in the center of everything when its going on.  An ideal Friday night would be chilling on the couch, watching a scary movie, and drinking a margarita!  This is also where my business comes in because I sell amazing, natural-based bath and body products for a company that believes in simply pampering everyone because we all deserve it!  I will DEFINITELY delve into this deeper very soon!

Fright Fest at the movies…  well this one is interesting, lol!  I absolutely LOVE horror movies.  I’m not talking sci-fi or ghost stories – I’m talking about good ‘ol people killing people (I promise – I’m not psychotic).  This unusual obsession started probably at an earlier age than it should have.  I think it was 4th grade when I decided to put posters – yes, those super big pieces of paper that we hang on our walls so we can express ourselves – on my ceiling of the best horror movie villain – Freddy Krueger!  I guess that explains why some of my friends were afraid to stay the night, haha!

Beanz & JJ – well these are two of our four dogs.  I love all four of them, but these two are Momma’s girls!  JJ is my baby even though she is 10 now.  She is a Shih-tzu/Havanese mix.  She is tiny – only 8 lbs and is the best snuggler ever!  But she is pretty skidish – like scared of absolutely everything!  Beanz is our newest fur baby and is still a puppy even though she is our biggest fur baby ever!  Neither my husband or I had ever had a dog bigger than 20 lbs and last year Ava was on a kick that we needed a big dog.  Because I’m such a sucker for any dog, I started looking and we fell in love with the Australian Shepherd breed.  Which is exactly what Beanz is!  She is 50 lbs of fluffy fur and a ball of energy!  Seriously the happiest dog I have ever seen!  More to come – she is a hoot!beanz jj

Shop – well this is a link back to my website where you can learn more about my Posh business and the products I sell.  I’d LOVE for you to take a look and find out just how amazing Posh is!

Fill Your Basket is all about my love and passion to make gift baskets, bundles, and more!  I definitely don’t think of myself as a crafty person, but when it comes to shopping for the perfect items, gifts, or anything else you’d want to shop for – I’m your gal!  I LOVE to shop and am damn good at it.  The other part of that is I can put together a pretty kick ass basket for anyone with anything!  I will share baskets I’ve done in the past, how they were done and where to find items I have used in them.  ava goody bag

So there ya have it!  That is a super small snippet of Mo’.  I can’t wait to share a lot more with you soon!